Anyone who follows this will note that it’s been a while. I keep trying to stay somewhat up-to-date but seem to keep getting stuck on side paths. This one is a round of deeper depression than I have struggled with in quite a while. Maybe I bit off more than I could chew by tackling the primary topics I have mentioned lately – specifically how to handle the time of our life that remains the most unresolved. and presenting some of the art work we have done over the years with our counselor. I’m not actually sure if I mentioned that last part here on the blog or not.

Anyway, about two months ago I felt that my usual coping mechanisms for depression that are part of the ebb and flow of life for me were not working. I have been on every kind of antidepressant they have available as well as several other psych meds. Everyone of them failed on one level or another. Some of them caused rashes or other symptoms that clearly indicated an allergic reaction. Some caused symptoms to worsen instead of improve. Some just didn’t work. Unfortunately, we weren’t good about keeping track of all of them and neither was my psychiatrist who is now retired; and physicians and insurance companies don’t want to take my word for it that a specific medication has already been tried and failed. Reluctantly, I tried a newer medication that was related to one I had a bad reaction to. It hasn’t worked out well at all.

I don’t know how this will all work out. Each day is a huge struggle to get through. I’m extremely thankful for my beloved husband who has been absolutely wonderful through this whole ordeal, supporting me all the way. I know God is still in control and will not abandon me in the midst of this storm, but I am blinded to know how or where to put the next foot forward.

I wish I could wrap this up in a nice little optimistic bow for you all, but I just have to sign off. Prayers are gratefully requested.