People say I’m sounding better. I am still here; but my heart is so extremely torn. What do I write; how do I write it; do I speak the truth the way I saw it, or do I write something that is likely the viewpoint of someone else? Maybe I’m not supposed to write here on the blog at all, but on paper or computer in a private file?
The new medications I’m taking temporarily make my brain fuzzy and my equilibrium off so my hands don’t work right – not for knitting or sewing or writing. My vision is blurry (hopefully a temporary side-effect of new meds), and I’m too tired to write coherently. I want to write here; but my attempts fall so far short of what I would hope to communicate.
EMDR therapist is saying I need to embrace my fear and anger – make friends with them; and then they will leave me alone.Anyone else get comments like that? I don’t really know how to go about it.
The cutting words into my skin hasn’t stopped, even though I take meds up to 5 times a day to prevent it. I wonder what my psychiatrist who I worked with for so many years would say to that.
I’m draggin’ so I won’t be writin’ much more. Just wanted to let you know I’m still here and still trying to figure out what to write.
Abigail
