I don’t imagine many people ask themselves  that question very often; but it is one I frequently ask myself and frequently the answer is elusive.  I’m apt to know that I am not Abigail, or Beth, or any of a host of other names. I might know how old I am, but, then again, I might not know that either. I’m not usually too bothered by the fact unless someone else asked me the question first and then it can be rather embarrassing to have to say that I’m clueless about such a basic piece of information.

But I do know who I am in Christ Jesus. I am His child. I am secure in the knowledge that I am eternally His, and He knows all about me. There is extreme security in that awareness, maybe especially because of how many times I don’t know who I am.

It has not always been this way. Before we went through an extremely traumatic experience that was supposedly done in Christ’s name, we more often than not knew exactly who we were as well as many other facts about ourself. That experience marks a point in our life that continues to have negative impact on us; but God continues to bring good and blessings out of the mire and filth that was imposed upon us in His name.

There are questions that have haunted us ever since those days (although over the years we have found peace even in the absence of explanation) – did God take us down there into that situation knowing all the harm and hurt it would cause? Was it part of His plan and purpose for our lives? We were in a very dangerous and precarious predicament and we trusted God to lead us into doing what would be best for us. It was an act which we believed to be obedient to God, yet it resulted in one of the most traumatic events of our life. So, can we trust God to answer our prayers for guidance or not?

We find peace and comfort in the following verses:, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, …so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:8-11

We are just coming out of a season in which we celebrate the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The horror of the unfathomable torture Jesus endured on our behalf makes what we endured seem miniscule in comparison, yet we know for fact that it was part of God’s plan – even the climax of God’s plan for His life here on earth. When it is all said and done, we can put full trust in Him and His plan for our life even when that plan includes extreme grief and pain for us because He paved the way before us.