One of the struggles I have had in writing the book has been the desire and the need to write accurately and compassionately some of the things that wounded me deeply by people who are also worthy of my respect and sincere gratitude. That didn’t come out very well, but I hope it will be made clear in the writing of the book eventually.

Today I heard a wonderful message by Ravi Zacharius about the price we all pay for the choices we make. Ravi used the incident of when David exclaimed how much he would dearly love a drink from the well of Jerusalem. Unknown to David, three of his valiant worriers overheard his expression and, at great risk to themselves, they went to get the water David so dearly desired and took it to him. When David received it, instead of drinking it he poured it out on the ground, and in doing so expressed to the men that they themselves were far more valuable to him than the water was. Ravi went on to make the point that there is a price to be paid for the choices we make. I prioritized my time with my family and in so doing gave up a career that could have been very fulfilling to me and could have benefited countless children and their families. My father prioritized his ministry that touched the lives of countless people in deep and meaningful ways, but in order to do that he had to sacrifice time with his family. It’s a hard balance to make. Sometimes we make choices that impact the people around us in a positive way; and sometimes it hurts the people we love.

I’m physically sick and spent right now, so I am doing a really bad job of expressing what I want to say. I’m getting things all jumbled up, but the message I heard Ravi give helped me in my own issues sorting out when good intentions result in costly things for either ourselves or our loved ones.

Key issues – David’s desire for the water was not wrong, but when fulfilling that desire cost the potential lose of his men, it dimmed in comparison. Ravi went on to share that he has had a long and beneficial career but if he had it all to do over again he would have been gone away from his family far less. The issue isn’t that there was anything wrong with what he did; but at times the price to his family was higher than he would now choose if he had to do it all over again.

I wonder if my father ever looks back at choices he made for the benefit of the ministry that cost his family very dearly.