My Christian counselor has given me a new challenge, which I have reservations about attempting. The challenge is to make a list of all the injustices and grievances I have had over my life time to make a list of what “should have” and what “should not have” happened. I am to use a list I made some years ago to start with and then add on to it. The list from a few years ago was 6 typed pages long (and these were not minor, insignificant losses).
I just started looking at the list yesterday and quickly became overwhelmed with grief, along with a sharp stabbing pain in my chest. I’m not sure I’m capable of completing the task set before me at this time. I am determined not to give up so easily. I will try again tonight and as many more times as it takes until either I am able to complete the task or am thoroughly convinced that it is unwise to continue right now. It’s something that will be extremely helpful in writing the book as well as being therapeutic. Eventually it will be a list of things to let go of so that I can grasp anew the things that bring me joy and bless me.
It is the season of darkness here, when many people struggle with feelings of depression. I admit that the depth of depression I am in may not be as typical as the light-deficient doldrums many people feel; but, even still, an exercise of this kind might be helpful for others who are struggling with depression these dark days. Start with a list of things that you can’t change yet they continue to drain you of energy and joy. Make this your list of things to let go of. Then make a list of people you now know who are in healthy relationship with you – people who bring blessings into your life through the give and take of a healthy relationship. Blessed opportunities that present themselves that have the potential of bringing joy into your life can also be included in making a list of things you will grasp hold of as you let go of the other things.
Write and let me know if you try this and if it is helpful or healing for you. May God bless you in this endeavor.
