Second factor that is causing struggle right now is that we just began EMDR to deal with very deep, harsh wound caused by sister. We have not dealt with this before because it involves children, and children are still deeply wounded by what sister did. They have blamed me and my husband because that is what sister told them or what they concluded because they were confused by the disparaging explanations- with sister blaming us and us saying what sister was telling them was not true.  I do not want to cause pain to children by speaking/writing about truth of what happened between sister and us; yet it is very much part of our story. We cannot write our live story without speaking truth, and one thing that came clear to us while we were unable to post anything due to hacking is that we need to start posting actual portions of book.