So sorry I’ve been missing in action again. I have been grappling with painful realities, and part of doing that in a healthy way is letting myselves feel, think, and process the full implications and ramifications of things from my past that previously were dissociated (buried deep away from conscious thoughts or feelings). As I have said before, dissociation is not a negative thing; but when it is relied upon to avoid the unpleasant realities of life, it can become more of a liability than an asset. I am learning to let myselves respond to both past and present difficult realities in present time so that I can eventually be free of the backlog of unresolved emotions. That requires a lot of intentional energy to not resort to dissociation and/or other negative coping mechanisms that are hard wired into my natural reactions in response to intensely painful thoughts and emotions. I haven’t been able to do many of the things that are a natural part of daily functioning, and there has been no ability to write things out in coherent thoughts for a few weeks now. As you can see, my ability to function is improving so that now I can at least make this post.

I hope this has made sense to you all. Hopefully I will be able to pick up with regular posting again very soon, if not currently.