One example from Bible that supports this view would be story of David’s first child by Bathsheba conceived in sin. Even though David acknowledged his sin publicly and repented after he was confronted by Samuel, even though he prayed that God would have mercy on this child and on Bathsheba and him, true repentance was tested when the child died and David accepted that the child’s death was price to be paid for his sin. It did not mean that they did not grieve – the Bible tells us that they did, but they then went on with life. They were able to move on after grief because repentance and forgiveness was genuine and complete. When David speaks of the time during which he was hiding his sin, he says it was like poison to his soul. It kept him from sleeping and troubled him deeply, truly tormenting him.

It would appear that brother quieted his conscience by reminding it that he was forgiven. When he refused to take further action to acknowledge the guilt that in his soul and spirit he knew to be truly his, it became like a poison he kept silent and secret within himself. Each time it has manifested in the form of cancer, he has treated it as an enemy that must again be silenced, not recognizing or dealing with its cause; and because cause has not been dealt with, cancer continues to return. Again, I must say that this is my theory, not revelation from God or verifiable scientific conclusion. Only brother could say whether or not these words ring true in his case.

And now that I have brought all this to my own conscious awareness, I must prayerfully consider what God would have me do about sharing these insights with brother in the hopes that he will not reject them but receive them along with all the love and compassion that is given with them. Perhaps if he can receive these insights and respond to them with confession of compounding sins against us and others – confession followed up with actions, it will make it possible for him to defeat the ugly monster once and for all to be done with it forever.

Let us pray that God will make it so.

5-1-12  After continued prayer, discussion with both counselors, and EMDR sessions, we have concluded that it is most likely that no amount of compassion expressed while trying to also express the opinions I have put forth here will make it possible for my brother to hear either the compassion or the message. Therefore, we will do nothing at this time to express these thoughts to brother. Instead, we will continue to lift him up in prayer for all of God’s mercy and healing power to be released upon him.