I believe we are ready to start regularly posting once again. There have been many reasons for the delay, but I don’t want to spend my time and focus on those things. Instead, I am going to share part of my devotions for today and then try to recap some of where I was before leaving the scene for a while so we can continue on from here.
By the way, I am switching frequently due to the topics I plan to discuss, so most likely during this post the writing will be done by Beth,Shadow, and/or Stranger.

One of the passages from my devotional today was Mathew 11:28-30 (Amplified Version) Jesus is speaking, ” Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good – not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.”

For more than a decade I lived in almost a constant state of abuse and fear from my husband (now ex-husband). During part of that time I spent a total of three years over a five year span as an inpatient in either a medical hospital or psychiatric hospital due to the deliberate efforts of my ex-husband. My primary focus was on my children. I did not allow myself the time needed to grieve or heal from the abuse because I was focussed on being healthy enough to provide as safe and stable of a home for my children as possible. When my children were grown I began the overwhelming task of becoming unburdened of the pain, grief, and trauma which were generated during those years of abuse.
(for clarification purpose: I am speaking of myself in the singular text but I am referring to the united Many of Me.)
Just prior to my marriage my mother had died a horrendously cruel death to cancer, and I had a physical collapse the day she died because I had been one of the primary caretakers of my mother while taking 18 credits and doing my student teaching all at the same time. Then, against my physicians emphatic disapproval, I enrolled to take the final 18 credits I needed to graduate on time. I was married the same weekend I would have graduated, had I not failed a basic course due to my inability to function and compromised health. I bring this up here to make it clear that I had a ton of grief and healing desperately needed even before I married; and since our children were born very close together beginning the first year of our marriage, I have had to carry an extremely heavy load of grief over the years.
I realize that may sound contradictory to the passage of Scripture I just quoted; but please let me clarify. God, in His infinitely great wisdom designed our bodies and minds with the need to process grief through experiencing it. He has made it possible for us to delay processing our pain and grief, but it is part of the way He has made us that we grow and heal by going through the process. The passage I quoted above is Jesus’ instructions for us to let Him be very present with us as we go through the healing process, letting Him carry the weight of the burden of grief as we go through the process together. He promises that if we let Him be with us, sharing the burden and trusting Him to handle the questions and mysteries that assail us during those times which make the whole ordeal much harder, then He will guide us safely to the other side of grief where there is healing and joy and peace for the soul. He doesn’t offer us an escape from the healing journey because He knows how important going through the process is. He allowed the trauma for our good, even though we can’t comprehend why or how; and He will not rob us of the good He desires to bring about by going through the process.
Hopefully I have not further confused anyone. Please feel free to message me with questions if this has confused you. I will try to answer clearly.

Since I took so long in the above part of the post, I will wait until the next post to address the other things I listed above.