It’s hard to know what to write. There is a conflict within my own head about what codependent really means or how it applies to my dad. He is definitely in some unhealthy relationships in which he plays a significant role. He doesn’t set healthy boundaries. However, his relationship with my mother was healthy (I think), and with his second wife as well. When I try to talk about things he is uncomfortable with, he dodges the topics and won’t give me straight answers. I guess that indicates he can set limits when he really wants to.

The issue of forgiveness keeps coming up for me – like an excuse to avoid an unbiased view of my dad. It goes like this: “It doesn’t really matter whether or not Dad is codependent or has unhealthy relationships because in the end I have to forgive him for his shortcomings. After all, Jesus was very clear about how critical it is to forgive and warned us that we will be held accountable to the same standard we hold other people to.” But just as that is going through my head I am objecting. What does forgiveness have to do with codependent or unhealthy relationships? It’s very exhausting to think about.

I don’t have another counseling session for two more weeks. This week no one was available and next week our family will be camping together. I’ll just have to keep working on this on my own.