Depression is like a ravenous dragon that rips and tears at the soul of it’s victim until it is completely consumed. Then it uses the spikes on it’s tail to pick out all fragments of good that might have gotten stuck in it’s teeth to consume those as well.

I have little doubt that, if not for God’s mercy and grace He has shown us through our multiplicity as well as support people in our life right now, we would not have survived to type these words.

Over the years we have frequently had to deal with depression. We have grappled with the issues of suicide from every angle possible; and for long periods of time we have held suicide at bay with determination that no amount of suffering can be used to justify the pain and grief our suicide would cause family members and loved ones. We simply made it a nonnegotiable issue and refused to give way to any argument or thought contrary to our determined decision concerning suicide.

All that being said and once again acknowledged, my mind flies to the topic every idle moment of the day. I’m worn out and worn down. Much of the time I have no fight left in me and I let my mind go where it wills. God alone has preserved my life this long. My appointments with both therapists and psychiatrist have been increased in frequency; and meds have been added, subtracted, and supplemented so frequently  I hardly know up from down. My Beloved has had to work from his home computer (this computer) so that I am not left alone throughout the day. If your wondering why I have blogged so infrequently in resent times, that is why.

So I ask for your prayers to Jehovah Rapha – the God who heals, on our behalf.

Oh yeah, I don’t know or care about what my name is. I’m content to acknowledge I am one of many, and that is all I care to say on that topic.