John 8: 31-32
“31 Jesus therefore said to those Jews that had believed him, If ye abide in my word, then are ye truly my disciples;

32 and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. “

These words have been pillars upon which our healing process has been built. It has been and continues to be necessary to closely examine everything being presented to us as memory or therapy. We have endeavored to be as accurate and honest about our recall as we possibly can be – looking for ways to validate and verify what we can. Even with these efforts, it is important to note that what we have written represents our experiences from our perspective, which is likely different from others who were also involved in these experiences.{This is not the focus of this post yet it is a critical truth to remember and keep in mind while reading all our posts.}

We now live in a world where many people see “truth” as a relative term, placing more significance on what a person perceives to be true rather than what is clinically accurate. As we have looked closely at the issue of “what is truth”, we have used Scripture as our plumb line whenever and wherever possible, as interpreted by people we have deemed to be reliable and by the Holy Spirit Who dwells within us and reveals truth to us. In practical terms, that means that if a method of therapy or seeking out “truth” is contrary to the words and principals present in the Bible, we will not utilize that method of healing. Likewise, if the Holy Spirit reveals to us that a particular method/therapist/practice of therapy or healing makes us more vulnerable to deception or redirects us away from true healing, then we will not utilize or participate in it. Everything that presents itself as memory must stand up to the tests of being measured with or against facts that are noted by others who were involved in the memory whenever this is possible; and must be confirmed through other methods whenever that is possible.

We have been blessed in that perpetrators have not tried to deny their actions against us. They have expected us to be able to instantly forgive and forget, not willing or able to acknowledge the extent of the harm done; but they have not denied doing the harm. My father has kept a prayer journal beginning years before my birth. He has been willing to make available to us those entries in his journal where he has noted something relating to us specifically; and we have been able to confirm dates and my age when some of the traumas occurred with that information.

We have found over time that false memories often draw the focus away from healing and center on that one memory or group of memories to the exclusion of other facts and/or memories. We have also noticed that our tendency when presented with a new traumatic memory that is an accurate/real memory is to be repelled or draw away from it. My inner response is one that longs for it not to be true, yet when we present it to God in prayer for His healing and guidance we find the strength and determination to do the hard work of accepting and healing from it. Contrary to this, a false memory often has an almost appealing fascination that can easily become distracting; and our spirit is resistant to really taking it to God in prayer.

If you understand that prayer is communication with God (two way communication that involves both telling and listening on the part of both individuals), then it’s not hard to see how and why this method of discernment is valid. After all, God KNOWS the accurate truth as well as the painful and damaging impact that believing a falsehood to be true or hiding from the truth has on His children. If there is an honest desire to know the truth with the sincere desire to become the servant/agent of God to bring healing to others, then God will act/work/do/lead/guide/ whatever is necessary to reveal the truth that needs to be revealed as well as do the healing that is necessary and desired – to take us from a place of hiding/deception/shame/blame to a place of honest acceptance/correction/growth/healing; where a byproduct is humble gratitude and acknowledgment that it is God who is doing the real work and it is for the purpose of His glory.

At times it is necessary to recognize that a perception or belief that is false but was accepted and treated as truth has had the impact of being true even though it was false. For example, we were not actually abandoned by my parents when we were an infant and they left us in the care of other people and took my older brother to another state for surgery and rehabilitation; yet we believed it and therefore it had the same impact on our psyche as if we had been abandoned. This was not easily fixed. We could not just recognize that we were not really abandoned and from that realization be healed from all the ramifications that false belief has had on us through the years. The perceived breech of trust had numerous consequences that built on each other to create a fragile domino-like skyscraper of deception. Each domino/experience built on the experience of the perception that we had been abandoned seemed to validate the misperception and make a foundation for the next experience to be based on/balanced on, reinforcing the whole structure. Using the same example, when our family moved when I was 11 and we left behind the two girls who had been foster children from the state school, it felt to me like we were abandoning them (another domino layer). A while later, when I was having a horrid time adjusting to the new location and my parents made arrangements for me to live with my aunt and uncle, I felt like I was being punished and sent away because I was having such a difficult time (adding another layer of domino).

Jesus tells us a parable about a house being built on sand and a different house being built on rock. He was talking about people guiding their lives by His teachings but I believe it can also be applied here to say that a house built on the sands of deception will not withstand the storms of life, which serve the purpose of destroying structures built on weak foundations. When the structure has been built over many years and has many layers built upon each other, the devastation can be extreme. The cleanup alone takes enormous effort and time. Rebuilding on sturdy beams of truth firmly constructed on the solid rock of Scripture can be exhausting and at times seem too great a task to complete successfully; yet strong muscles are built in the process and the structure in the end endures whatever storms life brings.

In our case, we had whole cities that were destroyed, referring to each personality having a different structure built upon the same faulty conclusions (not that all the traumas were misunderstandings, but in the case of the abandonment issue, several personalities are impacted by that same trauma).

Oh my goodness! I just realized a HUGE new understanding. I’m overwhelmed by the impact of it. The trip down south was the storm that God used to destroy the cities of deception within us.

I must be very careful and discerning here, examining each element closely for validity and accuracy.
We – the personalities were inhabitants of the structures. After the storm the debris all around us that had to be cleared out were the false beliefs/misunderstandings/misperceptions that had previously been the crossbeams and pillars that the city of our life had been built with – pillars of self-hatred, self-rejection, self-harm, / foundations of distrust, unexpressed anger, insecurity,
Yet among them were the pillars and crossbeams of truth – faith, prayer, right relationship with God – and they had been seriously damaged (though not destroyed) because of the many misunderstandings/false beliefs/ etc. that were interwoven within the fabric of deception. In our case both existed simultaneously.
“A city divided against itself cannot stand”(Matthew 12:25)
(Matthew 13:24-30) the parable of the good farmer who’s enemy came in the night and sewed bad seed in the field where the farmer had planted good seed. When it was revealed to be the case, the wise/good farmer instructed the workers to let the two grow and mature together until the time of harvest when they would all be cut down together and then the bad would be burned but the good harvested. The reason to let them grow together for a season was because the good seed would have been damaged/harmed in the attempt to uproot the bad seed.
The deliverances in the south were the harvest. The hospitalization revealing the MPD was the maturation of the good seed. Then the harvest time when all was destroyed was necessary. Following the harvest was the weeding out time – a season to sort out truth from deception followed by a time of replanting of the good seed so that it could be multiplied.

I’m not sure if this passage of Scripture can be accurately applied in this way. Jesus was talking about the end times when He would return. It might be a principle that can be applied here also or might not. I will have to search it out and study and pray before I can know or accept it, but it seems right now that it could be true.

If that is the case, it is a whole new way to view what happened in the south. That thought brings back to mind the message I heard earlier today on the radio. LOTE w/ Chip Ingram was talking about the difference made by having an accurate view/expectation/interpretation of any situation. The illustration he gave was a couple who receive a phone call from a neighbor telling them that their house is in flames and there is a question about whether the babysitter was able to get their child out of the burning house or not. In the first scenario the neighbor accurately explains the situation and the parents come home concerned about the wellbeing of their child, and end up rejoicing over the rescue of their baby. In the second scenario the neighbor doesn’t want to alarm them so they downplay the severity of the fire and reassure them that surely the baby is safe. When they return home they find a great discrepancy between what they expected to find and what they actually do find. In the end of the second scenario they end up being focused on and deeply distressed over the loss of their home.

The application Chip made was to marriage – that if we enter into it expecting that this other person is going to fulfill all our dreams and meet all our needs and the two of will be eternally, blissfully united in harmony and without conflict, when reality hits there will be great disillusionment and dissatisfaction in the marriage. But if two people enter into marriage realizing that there will be conflict and stresses, not expecting their partner to meet all their needs, then they are far more likely to see their marriage in a positive light and be much happier in their marriage.

The application to this insight for me is that we have been terribly disillusioned by our experience in the south because we expected God to do a healing work without accurately recognizing the prolific misconceptions/deception that were intertwined with our faith and the need to destroy the false in order to have strong structures built wholly on the truth – who God says we are/how God wants us to see ourself/ how God wants us to treat our body/ how God wants to use us to produce good fruits of healing in others.

1 John 3:19
By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we are of the Truth, and can reassure (quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts in His presence,

John 8:36

Amplified Bible (AMP)

36So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free.

1 John 3:19

Amplified Bible (AMP)

19By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we are of the Truth, and can reassure (quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts in His presence,

May Your truth shine in and through us to the glory and edification of YOU, oh LORD!
Amen